It may seem like a small thing, but the consequences of Stress They can wreak great havoc on ourselves, our relationships, and the people around us.
No relationship is perfect. It is well known that every couple, no matter how unique, goes through difficult times. And at the end of the day, that is what a relationship is: a connection between two people that lasts over time. Therefore, Problems and stress are part of any normal relationship.
We mention “problems” and “stress” together because it is often a problem x the one that generates the stress and this in the end ends up becoming a new problem, so that "problem" and "stress" form a (this one, perfect) binomial necessary for the execution of a vicious circle. This circle usually generates a series of Negative emotions that deteriorate our quality of life little by little and that affects our relationship in the same way.
If we know the origin of stress, we can find out how to relieve it and improve our quality of life.
Causes of stress in couples
Most relationship problems arise from the following points.
Communication
If we are stressed, we do not think clearly, everything irritates us and we are blunt. and fickle. In such circumstances, it would be almost a miracle to be able to maintain a rational conversation with someone. If, in addition, the other member of the couple is in a similar stressful situation, it is impossible. this link You will discover 5 things that we usually do wrong when it comes to communicating with our partner.
The intimacy
Often, When stress overwhelms us, we tend to seek a few minutes of solitude and isolation. in which we allow our minds to take the pressure off. Unfortunately, in a relationship, one of the parties does not always understand why the other needs to get away from him or her and this leads to new friction and a greater stress load. It is essential to communicate these needs in a clear and comprehensive way to maintain emotional balance and strengthen the relationship.
The money
Money, for one reason or another, It is usually always a cause of internal and external disputeThe pressure we feel if we have financial problems, unrealistic goals or overly expensive whims, added to the pressure that the partner feels to make ends meet or control expenses is simply overwhelming. Financial tensions are one of the most common reasons for breakups.
The sexuality
Last but not least, we find one of the cornerstones of any loving relationship: sex.
According to Robert J Stenberg, the basic ingredients for a couple to work are three: intimacy, passion and commitmentThe first two are, in turn, basic and essential ingredients for any sexual relationship.
Intimacy, once the couple has a certain level of trust, is easy to achieve.
Unfortunately, the same does not happen with passion, which is sometimes present and sometimes not. In fact, it happens that, In couples who have been together for a long time or whose members are over thirty, passion tends to wane quite a bit once their members reach the dreaded menopause (women) and andropause (men).
At this time, it is common for the level of sexual desire in the couple to decrease (in some cases even disappear) and for problems of a more physical nature to begin to arise in the case of the male component of the relationship: erectile dysfunction, impotence or premature ejaculation.
These problems obviously cause a significant degree of stress for both the couple and the individuals.
Other external factors that cause stress in the couple
Cell phone
A recent study from 'Psychology of Popular Media Culture' on the link between mobile phone use (smartphones) and health revealed some very interesting data. For example, the subjects who considered themselves addicted to mobile phones and social networks were also the ones who felt the most insecure about their romantic relationships.
In turn, those who indicated that their partners spent too much time glued to the device were the least satisfied with their relationship.
Our schedules
The lack of free time together is one of the biggest difficulties that couples face today.
If one of the members of the couple works from eight in the morning to six in the afternoon, and the other from ten to eight, the time they have from Monday to Friday to rest, do housework, spend free time apart and time together and with the family is totally insufficient.
Consequences of stress in couples
The most common consequences of stress in any couple are the deterioration of the relationship and the increasingly frequent arguments, This can lead to situations where a breakup or temporary separation seems like the only way out.
Tips to prevent and solve the consequences of stress in couples
To communicate better
Listening before speaking, paying attention to body language, offering solutions instead of obstacles, or using affectionate words when expressing yourself are some good ideas to improve communication between couples. On the other hand, losing the fear of saying certain things (because they make you uncomfortable or you fear hurting the other) is also essential to maintain a sincere dialogue.
To respect the privacy of others
To better address this point, it is essential to understand the following:
When two people form a couple, they do not merge, despite what romantic canons say. In reality, they must preserve individual privacy.
Joan Fernandez
To avoid arguments about money
Although there is no ideal model for organizing money as a couple, there is a formula that is quite convenient and the one most chosen by Spanish couples. An individual account for each member of the couple and a third, common one.
The success of this formula is probably based on something closely related to the previous element: intimacy. By each person keeping their own account, they maintain their privacy. By having a joint account for common expenses, a separate economic space is created for “us.” In this way, we will avoid one of the most common consequences of stress: arguments about money and the trust that these generate.
To avoid sexual problems
The best thing to do in these cases is to have an open mind and be able to speak frankly about any problems or issues that may arise. If the origin of the problem is some kind of dysfunction or a lack of desire that has been going on for a long time, our recommendation is that you go to a specialist doctor. so that we can assess your symptoms and give you a diagnosis appropriate to your needs.
Consult with a professional
If, even after following these tips, you still feel that something more is needed, you should not hesitate to consult a professional in psychology and sexology.
Couples therapy is a safe space in which you and your partner, with the help of a professional, can begin to work on your relationship from respect and understanding.
Do you have questions? Find out Everything you need to know about sexology.
Now that you know how to prevent everyday problems with your partner, you will surely be able to successfully avoid the consequences of stress in your relationship.
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