Overcoming Infidelity: How to Do It Step by Step 2026

Sexology and couple therapy specialists receive daily queries about infidelities committed by oneself or by one's partner, wondering if, really, Overcoming infidelity is possible.

The subject is delicate and the answer to this question will never be a resounding yes or no because it will depend on many factors such as the context of the infidelity or the background that exists in the relationship. We will review all of this and more in this article on how to overcome infidelity.

But first, let's review a few points:

What can we consider infidelity?

Did you know that, In Spain, 4 out of 10 people admit to having sent messages with erotic content to people who are not their partnerWhat's more, 52% of men surveyed and 45% of women do not consider exchanging erotic messages on WhatsApp or other social networks to be infidelity as such.

As you can see, the criteria on what constitutes infidelity or not is not unanimous. And if we look at the definition that the RAE gives to the noun, it tells us that infidelity is the lack of fidelity. This, in turn, refers to the loyalty and respect that is owed to a person who, in turn, has placed their trust in us.

Therefore, we can say that Infidelity responds to subjective concepts and subscribes to the context of a couple or relationshipThat is to say: what may constitute infidelity for you and your partner may not be so for the partner next door.

And when we say the word "infidelity" we tend to think directly of a sexual infidelity, forgetting about the emotional part that often causes much more worry and pain within the couple.

Why are we unfaithful?

35% of men and 26% of women They admit to having been unfaithful to their partner.

Infidelity is and has been a complex issue since the beginning of time, and of course, the answer to the question of “why” was no different.

As we have already seen, infidelity is a behavior that can occur in very different ways: either in person or distanceBut why do we cheat? Although we could almost say that there are as many reasons and explanations as there are human beings inhabiting the planet, some of the reasons that are most often expressed within couples are:

• Boredom
• Lack of interest
• Stress
• Disaffection
• Lack of communication

Although there is a theory that humans We are unfaithful by nature, the opposite theory is even stronger:

Humans are faithful by nature

Considering biology and anthropology, the concept of fidelity could have appeared at a point in evolution when Female and male formed a kind of symbiosis to care for and protect their offspring., who were born (just like now) extremely defenseless and whose childhood was much longer than that of other mammals and predators.

From a purely biological point of view, fidelity is practically guaranteed during the first months or years of the relationship. (when the cocktail of hormones of falling in love is at its peak). Now, when this cocktail runs out, humans are capable of choosing between continuing to be faithful or ceasing to be so.

In any case, there have not yet been enough studies to determine whether humans naturally tend towards monogamy or polygamy and why, or whether this question responds to sociocultural contexts.

Can you overcome an infidelity?

Although it does not always happen, when infidelity occurs and becomes evident, there are many couples who wonder if it is really possible to overcome infidelity.

The answer to this question, as we mentioned at the beginning of the article, depends on several factors such as:

• the level of emotional involvement of the members of the couple
• the context in which the infidelity occurred
• of the reasons that triggered it
• the degree of impact on the parties involved
• of the damage caused to the bond of trust between the members of the couple

And the thing is, no matter how much you want to get over infidelity, sometimes a series of circumstances occur that make a definitive breakup the best option for the couple.

Be that as it may, it goes without saying that Putting an end to it is not always the solutionNor does infidelity necessarily mean that the relationship will become dysfunctional from that moment on.

How to get over an infidelity

When a couple decides that it is worth saving the relationship despite infidelity, they must know that the path to achieve this will not necessarily be easy and will require a series of key elements:

Communication

To solve any couple problem, you need to be willing to establish positive communication and stay away from common mistakes like:

• refuse to listen
• impose our criteria
• show little or no interest in the other's point of view
• to agree even if we do not agree
• try to manipulate the other

The best tool for good communication as a couple is, without a doubt, assertiveness.

Assertiveness is a social skill that is based on the subject knowing and defending his or her own rights while recognizing and respecting those of others.

Sincerity

Whatever problem a couple is trying to deal with, Sincerity will always be the best policy to deal with it.

Being honest about the reasons that led to committing infidelity or about how this makes the affected party feel can be a good starting point for Analyze and improve the weak points of the relationship.

Time

When you start a conscious process whose objective is as complex as overcoming infidelity, you have to be aware that Time is an essential resource when it comes to internalizing, accepting and healing.

Trying to speed up the process can be counterproductive. for all parties involved as well as for the relationship.

Studio

Just as time is necessary to overcome infidelity, so can space, especially when it comes to sexual infidelity and not just emotional infidelity.

Tabula rasa

Or what is the same: Starting over. Be willing to make the effort not to look back and re-lay the foundations for a new relationship, even if this is with the same person with whom we may have been dating or married for years.

This final and decisive step may be the most difficult to take since it requires a great deal of willpower to leave behind resentment, distrust and reproaches, focusing on the couple's new commitment.

Is it necessary to seek professional help to overcome infidelity?

While this may not be necessary in all cases as such, It will always be advisable to have an external and impartial guide..

With the help of a professional in sexology and couples therapy, the couple will ensure that minimize damage caused by infidelity as well as avoid collateral damage at the individual level (depression, low self-esteem, sexual dysfunctions, anxiety disorders, etc.).

Therefore, our recommendation is that whether you have committed infidelity or have been a victim of it, and regardless of whether you have decided to end the relationship or if you want to fight to keep it, you put yourself in the hands of a specialist.

Sources:

• https://www.lavanguardia.com/vida/20140930/54416448564/un-estudio-concluye-que-el-30-de-la-poblacion-es-infiel.html
• https://hipertextual.com/2018/09/monogamia-poliamor-relaciones-pareja
• Thornton, V. & Nagurney, A. (2011). What is infidelity? Perceptions based on biological sex and personality. Psychology Research and Behavior Management.
• https://www.mundodeportivo.com/elotromundo/tecnologia/20161021/411179972870/telegram-borrar-mensajes-para-siempre-whatsapp-encriptacion.html